Little red caboose chug chug chug

Today we went to the MSU pavilion because there was a giant train show. We have gone to this before but it's been a few years. It is HUGE! When Todd asked Daniel this morning if he'd be interested in going he screamed YES!!! It opened at 10:00 am so we were going to get on it and get there early. Which we actually did!!

Let's give some background. For those of you who are not familiar with autism, I have never met a child on the autism spectrum who did not LOVE trains. Love love love. I can't explain the love. At one of the very first autism conferences I went to the Dr. talked of this fascination. His theory is that they love linearness (is that a word?) OK, things lined up. Little kids on the spectrum are always lining things up. Trucks in a row, whatever it is. I find they are the same type of item. For example, hot wheels cars, dinosaurs, etc. (all also favs of kids on the spectrum!) Trains are naturally all in a row on their very own. And they MOVE. When Daniel was little he would move a car or something from just outside his peripheral vision then across his eyes. It is a stimulation. Occasionally he still does this with his hands. Not too much though. Here he is at the show doing this in a somewhat natural way.

His face is close to the glass and he is waiting for it to travel through his field of vision. This was his favorite table as they had "the best tunnel". And even greater excitement is watching a train travel down the track all neat in a row THEN watch it enter and exit a tunnel! Wow now THAT is excitement. He was almost shaking! We of course ran into one of the boys who is in his group speech therapy that we attend on Monday nights. There they mostly practice things like conversation etc. He did insist on running over to say hello to him and his dad. So this should be a nice conversation at group tomorrow!! It was NOT too surprising that we saw someone from the group though! LOL!

Here is my sweetie in front of one of the first exhibits we saw. The trains were quite large and one of them had smoke coming out of the engine. (on purpose!) He really enjoyed this. They had mats around it that you could kneel on and look. Unlike the last time we were at this show, Daniel did a GREAT job "looking only and not touching". He would have his hands shoved in his pockets so he wouldn't be tempted. These guys are very serious about their trains and they don't want anyone getting too close or touching. Daniel was even really good this time if something happened to one, like it came apart or they had to stop it to adjust it. He wouldn't get mad or upset. He understood they had to do that sometimes! Now that's progress! We even saw one train enthusiast inadvertently crash two of his trains. He didn't realize they were on the same track! While this was somewhat disturbing , he handled it well.

This was a huge exhibit made entirely of LEGOS. The trains, the buildings, everything. It was amazing. Now while a LOT of kids on the spectrum love Legos, especially the Asperger kids, Daniel does NOT. He appreciated the fact that this was entirely built from Legos, but they are not his thing. In fact. . . . if loose Lego pieces are laying around he GAGS at the sight of them. Does anyone else have this or any other inanimate object that makes them gag? I'd like to hear from you! I have something stored deep in my brain that this happens sometimes, but I can't quite remember. Now don't tell me it's because he choked on one as a little kid or something. That is not it. There are some things he just gags with. Usually it's a food, and usually he has never tried it, but it's the smell of it. But Legos, that's a whole different thing. . .

The train show was a success. Daniel found a $5 DVD he wanted BAD! That will probably be the best $5 I have ever spent. It is trains driving around on tracks. He'll spend hours and hours over the next years watching it. OK maybe in the next weeks, but I don't want to admit he may watch that much TV on the weekends! Zachary desperately wanted a tank he saw? I bought it for him. I even had to talk the guy into letting me write a check, because I was out of cash. I talked him into it. In fact it was such a success, it has me thinking, do we want to get a small electric train kit for the basement? Would he go nuts if it had to keep being readjusted? I think he'd be better than at any time ever before. All he'd need is a circle with a tunnel and I THINK he'd be set. Hmmmmmm. Just maybe.

History has been made!

I have spent the last several days sort of in shock that it actually happened. Our country, the United States of America, elected Barack Hussein Obama. I honestly didn't think it would happen. I wanted it to happen. I wanted it to happen so much that I couldn't get my hopes up. That's how I've always been unfortunately. I keep my expectations low, so I don't get disappointed. It's not exactly the way to live vicariously, but it is self preservation.

Zachary has, for years, loved history. Especially presidential history. He, at age 7 could name the presidents in order backward and forward. In about a minute and a half. He quizzes me constantly. "Mom, name the first 10 presidents in order." I can get to 6 then I get stuck. Every single time. He breaks out in hysterical giggles every time I get to John Quincy Adams then stop. "How can you not remember mom?" I don't know. I just can't! He is full of statistics and information. I love that, among many things about him. About a year and a half ago we were in the car in Florida and we were playing the initials game. You know? You give initials to a person then they ask questions to figure out who it is. So we are going along with SB (Spongebob) etc and he says to my aunt. GF. The questions start, and continue and continue. Finally, she gives up. My aunt is a teacher and knows a LOT of information. She gave up. Geraldine Ferraro. She ran for vice president with. . . . hmmmm I can't remember who, but she did and I can picture her but can't remember the details. That's how my brain works! We laughed and laughed. He stumped her alright.

So when this whole election process started he was THRILLED to find out a woman and an African American were running against each other on the democratic ticket. How exciting. History in the making. Whichever one went on to run would be history. The boy loves history. I was sort of unsure through the whole thing who I wanted to get the democratic nomination. I felt they both had their merits. I knew whoever it was I would be supporting that person. Then when John McCain picked Sarah Palin (cough cough) Zachary was even more thrilled knowing whoever won it would be historic. So, in short, this election became a BIG deal in our house.

I am only referring to Zachary in this entry because, despite my trying, Daniel doesn't understand this whole thing. On the way to school, we'd chat about the signs on the lawn, of who the homeowner is supporting. I'd describe what was going on. And he'd talk about the sun or the trees or the squirrels and I'd go back to what he wants to talk about. In recent days I would talk about Barack Obama and John McCain, then ask the next day and it would be all new again. It left a pit in my stomach, because I knew he didn't understand. It meant nothing to him. He had no connection. That is where it is left up to us to try to elect a president who we feel can help Daniel the most. Isn't that what it's about for us parents? Trying to lay out a future for your children that is the best for them? So we keep talking to him about it. The day after the election he finally said "Obama". So we were getting somewhere. We keep trying.


When Obama came to MSU I rode my bike down to campus and stood outside of the rally. Some said there were over 20,000 people there. It was electrifying. I don't care if you are a Republican, Democrat, whatever all were there. There were McCain supporters carrying signs and shouting at people, there were Obama supporters coming together. I was smiling the whole time. This is America. Where everyone can come together and listen to a speech and be against it or totally invigorated. I loved every second of it. I missed all the people I was supposed to meet, but really I think it was better. I stood there on my own watching the people and taking it all it. It was wonderful.

As the election drew near, Zachary asked if he could come and vote with me. Absolutely. Talk was the lines would be long. But I knew he wouldn't care. On election day I went and signed him out of school. He was SO excited. Not to be leaving school, but because my 8 year old knew that sometime huge was going to happen that day. I, was so proud that he wanted to be a part of it. That an 8 year old boy understood the gravity of what was happening that day. So we went to the polls. It was very crowded but not really a line. We waited maybe 5 minutes. We saw neighbors and acquaintances. I read through everything with him and showed him how you fill out the ballot. He was fascinated. We went back to school.

Todd and I watched the spin and results and the magic maps with great interest. It seemed early on that there wasn't going to be much of a contest. We were both very tired and went to sleep before the concession speech. But the next day I watched everything online. I really couldn't believe it happened! I was sure that some how it was going to get messed up. But no. It actually happened. The first thing Zachary asked me was who won. When I told him Obama, he was jumping around the family room. I was so excited for Obama. But I was more excited for our country. I really didn't think that I'd see an African American become the president of the United States. The negative part of me, felt like too many people are still to racist to elect someone like Obama. But Obama did something no one else has in a long time. He united people. People came out to vote in record numbers. They made history happen. Each and every person did it together. I know people who cried all day Tuesday with joy, elation, relief, and hope. The only time I cried is when I told my children it happened. That Obama was elected for them. It was the knowing that anything can happen. The walls can come down. That individuals can work together to get it done. That anything is possible. That this lesson transcends the election. In our house, knowing anything is possible takes on a different meaning. It is not putting a limitation on someone. Not deciding what they can and can't learn. Because Daniel has proven to us over and over, he will always surprise us. Sometimes, even your country can surprise you.

At last!!! Bike riding Part III

Rewind to last spring. I was asking around about bike riding and then it finally happened. I hit the jackpot of information! I had emailed a professor at MSU. She runs the Kinesiology program at MSU that Daniel has been swimming in since he was 6 years old. He just turned 12. I'll write about this another time. . . this was one of those times when you realize you just have to keep asking. She had JUST returned from a conference and received a ton of information on the very subject of bike riding. YES!!!!! She sent me to a website. http://www.losethetrainingwheels.org/. I immediately went to the site and what was laid out before me was sensory overload to the max!! This was exactly what I'd been looking for! I knew it was the answer for us. They travel all over the country running camps for kids with special needs to teach them how to ride a bike in a one week training, that is intense. I look at it as ripping off the bandaid. I knew it was going to be tough, but one week of hell weighed against possible years of frustrating teaching, and hauling Daniel around on a tandem that we would probably need to buy. . . I couldn't borrow that beautiful bike forever!



After reading and learning all the things we had been doing wrong and what actually worked I went right to the schedule of camps. Typed in Michigan. . . one camp came up. ONE! It was in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan. This is about 75 miles from us. A suburb of Detroit. Which means horrible traffic. It is the car capital of the country right? I lived there, one of the reasons we left was the traffic. Oye. This wasn't going to be pretty. I signed up right away. The camp was the 3rd week in June. So far so good. No vacations planned that week, nothing on the schedule. You could pick what session you wanted. There were two in the morning, and two in the afternoon. This is a very important choice. I'm sure most parents have this, but with our kids (meaning kids on the spectrum) we need to make sure all of the stars are aligned properly. So the time was important. I chose the 10:30 to 11:55 time slot. Thinking we could leave by 9:00 am. Not too early. We could have a fairly relaxed (or at least on the surface, I would be a mess inside!) morning, of getting up, eating a good breakfast, driving to Bloomfield Hills and most importantly missing the morning commute!



Driving distances is not on Daniel's list of favorite things. Whenever we get into a car the first question is, "how long is this going to take?" So I knew that I had some work to do to, in the words of Tim Gunn, "make it work". But that's what I do right? That is my job. That is why I constantly have these scenarios running over and over in my head. I figure out how to make it work. We found the answer, we signed up, now we get to "make it work". I wish I was as fabulous as Tim Gunn somehow he always seems to know how to make it work. Me? I need some time to figure it out and figure out how Zachary fits into this week.

Bike Riding Part 2

People often ask me how I find "things". How do I learn it? How do I find a program? The answer is quite simple . . . it's hard work! Research, research, research. Not ALL of my time on the internet is useless, although some of it is! Frankly, before the internet, I don't know what people did. I am a researcher. I like to go into everything with, not only a plan, but a plan a, b and probably c. Part of that is from living with Daniel. You simply must have an alternative. And if you don't, you had better be able to think quick on your feet. When it comes to the bike riding, I started looking on line and asking people. Networking still is a great way to find information. Although on this topic I didn't get very far. Even Daniel's Adaptive PE instructor didn't have much info to offer. I always felt that training wheels were not the way to go. I don't know why? But I did. I get gut feelings about things and, unlike most people, I tend to follow it. I follow it because in my 41 years, I've learned my gut is almost always right. I truly believe we all have an intuition built into our bodies. Most people just don't listen. I do. I was told by many people we had to do training wheels first. I thought this was wrong because a). I knew Daniel wouldn't like the unsteady feeling of training wheels, the wobbling back and forth and b). when you take them off you would be starting over again. This seemed like a waste of time to me. My father in law, found a bike on line that he got large training wheels for. It was incredibly thoughtful. We are very lucky to have such a supportive family. Daniel loved the idea of the bike. Posed on it. Took pictures. He even tried to ride it, once. Maybe twice. He didn't like it, to say the least. He didn't like the unstable training wheels. Back to the drawing board!

I'm slightly digressing, so I'll go back. My wonderful neighbor Diane is a bike enthusiast. She offered to let us use her tandem bike. This is no run of the mill tandem. It was a very good bike and the fact that she wanted to lend it to us, was not only really appreciated, it made me a bit nervous something would happen to it! We accepted gratefully and took a spin around the 'hood. Here is a picture of Todd and Daniel on the tandem!

Now when I was riding with Daniel I was in front with Daniel on back. Obviously so I could steer. Initially, he whipped his body around so much I thought he would take me down!! It was a bit scary I must say! He was probably only 25 pounds less than me and possibly stronger. Over time, the whipping from side to side lessened (partially because I'd always be yelling, HOLD STILL!!!!) And, as we expected, Daniel LOVED the feeling of riding a bike. It is freedom and can be a thrilling thing. So he wanted to ride the tandem, a lot. Not that there is really anything wrong with this. The tandem did help us in a few areas. First, it helped him realize he couldn't throw himself around like a maniac. Next we could constantly yell back the rules. For instance. Stopping at a stop sign. Daniel yells, "Why are you stopping???!!!" I say, "Because, look we are at a red stop sign. We have to stop and look both ways". Etc etc. This sounds simple. Ahhhh but it isn't. It is constant! He doesn't generalize very well at first, so it would be at EVERY stop sign at every corner. Or red light, or person in front of you and you have to slow down. Over and over. It's exhausting. But it's the only way. Repetition. I have been told by well meaning people, "but you have to do this with all kids." All I have to say to that is HA! you have never obviously tried to teach a kid with autism anything! I have one with and one without and I can tell you that not only is it not the same thing, it isn't even in the same ballpark, same city, state or country!!!!! It's mentally and physically exhausting and tedious. Next, the kid was basically getting a free ride! He would pedal, but he wouldn't put much effort into it. When I was riding with him and God forbid we come to a small hill (luckily EL is blessed with flat streets!) I would be pedaling for my life to try to drag us both up it! I'd be yelling "PEDAL, PEDAL!" We were quite a site!!! Todd, of course, had it much easier. He is stronger and heavier giving him a clear advantage.

This tandem was our first taste of a family bike riding. Zachary could ride his bike, Todd could ride the tandem with Daniel and I could ride another. You would have thought Zachary had died and gone to heaven! I hadn't realized how much NOT doing those things was affecting him. He was so thankful for us going out and doing something like that as a family. We went on one of our bike trails one night and I really remember it well. It was an awesome experience. Everyone was happy, we were exercising together, enjoying beautiful East Lansing and just being together. Now I knew I had to figure out how to make this happen. I knew that this could open up the door to so many more possibilities. There was talk of riding to the library together, of riding to our favorite summer spot, the aquatics center. So many possibilities!! We were trying to give Daniel a purpose. A reason to put the work into doing this on his own. With the tandem he got a taste for it. We all did. Time to get researching!!!

Pumpkin patch

Ok, how cute are they? Friday we went to Rowe's in Mason. It was a beautiful day. My boys LOVE the fall and Halloween. It is Zachary's favorite holiday. We start planning September 1st. They couldn't wait to pick out their pumpkins. They had the day off from school so it was a perfect day to head out to the pumpkin patch!! The problem is getting them to wait to do these things so the pumpkins don't rot before Halloween! Here are a few picks of their choices for pumpkins. . . Daniel and Zachary each got one of their own and I picked one out for Todd and I to carve.

We also look forward to our neighborhoods annual "boo ghost". They love to ring people's doorbells and run away leaving treats behind. It took Daniel a few years to get the hang of this. He used to get upset and cry. . . I'm sure it made zero sense to him. Why would you ring a doorbell and run away? We would explain it and explain it and it didn't help. In retrospect if I would have wrote a social story I probably could have solved our problem right away. But I didn't. As usual, we kept trying and now it has become something he loves to do and participates in every year. This year I let them each choose one person to "boo". Daniel chose Hannah, who is a girl in his class. Very appropriate! They had a blast! Zachary chose the family down the street who have a kindergartner he plays with and they have a 3 year old too. It is so much fun to hide and hear the excited children come outside and find the treasure awaiting them! We have the best neighborhood! We are very blessed!