We Did it!!

The pediatrician's office didn't call me back that day.  I had gone to Walgreen's in the evening after voting in the Michigan primary and dropping off the DVD "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" at the video store, just to "see" if miraculously the Valium was there waiting. It was not.  With a sigh I decided I'd call back in the morning and start over.  Instead, the nurse called ME first thing in the morning.  Relieved that I wouldn't be starting over (and cursing Dr Israel for ya know, taking a VACATION! (how dare he!)) The nurse said the Dr. was concerned about drug interaction.  When I assured her that Daniel was on no medication and that they weren't putting him under (HENCE ME WANTING THE VALIUM) she went back to the Dr.  I know they have to be careful, but sheesh.  This time she called me back to say it was being called in immediately.  I kept sending mental signals of (get me TWO) one for me one for you...ha ha ha.

I wrote Daniel a simple social story the night before and left it on the computer keyboard for him to read first thing in the morning since that is where he immediately goes.  I explained what would happen and how great I KNEW he'd do and like I usually end these things I told him, if he did a great job we'd go get ice cream after.  Nothing works like a bribe, I mean "reward". 

I was starting to feel like who needs the Valium, he can do it!  I was feeling strong and confident.  I had wondered aloud the evening before to my neighbor (a PA) how Valium would affect him.  She said, "I expect he'd sing a lot".  hmmmm. Sounds like usual!  I was also curious how the Valium would affect him.  In group situations he has had very high anxiety lately.  I can see the anxieties building and how hard and distressing it is for him.  We have discussed that it "may" be time to explore something to ease this for him.  So the wonder was strong in my head.  I decided to go ahead with it.  It can't hurt to take one pill and I'd hate to be in the middle of it kicking myself for NOT doing it and making it harder on him.  So 40 minutes before, I gave it to him.

We were driving to the appointment.  There were roads closed due to construction (thank goodness Todd told me this, nothing like getting him upset by coming to a road closed sign!)  So I was driving a "different way" as Daniel says. Daniel's amazing sense of direction and memory kicked in and he was wondering where we were going.  He noted this is how we went to Jennifer's house (someone he took music lessons from TWO YEARS AGO.  Except he was asking me very calmly and happily?  Hmmmm two cheers for Valium.  Then he started singing!  and singing and singing.  Two points for my neighbors good call!

He charged into the office happily, singing "Hi diddily dee, an actors life for me..."    which if you read this post that I linked was right before disaster struck on vacation.  I literally stopped in my tracks hoping this wasn't foreshadowing.  He took his two "rides" in the chair up and down.  Remembering that 4 is up and some other number is down and some other number lays him back.  Jenny lets him do this on his own and it's his routine.  I never even remember that this routine will happen, but Daniel and Jenny do, so there you go!  She starts rubbing numbing gel around the tooth and we wait.  She has her finger in his mouth so he won't suck it off.  And he just STAYS LIKE THAT, chatting about her vacation and his.  He's just laying there.  Seemingly, fairly happily.  She puts more on.  We wait.  She is wiggling it and wiggling it.  Trying to loosen it and talking to him in the kindest voice.  I love her.  Really, I think I'm in love :)  It's such a relief to find someone who "gets it".  After what felt like a long time (and still no anxiety showing) the Dr comes in.  He is touching and wiggling and poking.  Jenny and I are right there telling Daniel how AMAZING he is.  Daniel did ask if it was "taking a long time".  As Daniel describes it now, "then Dr Hartman took out the BIG PLIERS"  (which is exactly what it looked like).  He grabbed the tooth and started twisting and then POP out it came!  Daniel said "FINALLY!  At last it's gone!"  I exhaled.   It was bleeding, they put in gauze.  There was clapping, cheering and joyfulness.  

He didn't like the gauze, but didn't like the bleeding either.  We took some gauze home in case it started bleeding again and went out to the car.  I was a big geek and brought my camera.

with a hunk of gauze and blood Daniel says good job!!

look at my "chocolate chip on a regular cone"  my favorite!!

I have a giant hole in my mouth!

And by Daniel's request, he wanted me to add this video! How cute is that? This is the only one I could find on You Tube that didn't have their own child in it or wasn't edited obscenely. These people have a messed up TV! lol. But the song and the intention are right! I'm so relieved this is done. I was exhausted after it was over. Oh, and they did give me two Valium. One in case of an emergency for mom?

Back to Life.....Back to Reality.....

You know that song..."back to life, back to reality..."  I'm dating myself here. But it's by Soul II Soul in the 80's.  That first line keeps running over and over in my head.  I am facing a rather unpleasant issue this week and it's making my head hurt.  I decided to face up to it yesterday and I called the dentist for Daniel.  He has been blessed (as have we) with pretty much perfect teeth.  No cavities thus far (he's almost 14) and this is with not having them cleaned for YEARS.  They are straight, spaced well.  Nice.  Thank GOD.  His very last baby tooth became loose months ago.  The. Last. One.  We are almost there.  The golden ring is in reach.  We've been riding this crazy carousel ride round and round with the dentist and we are on our last circle the ring is there, we tried to grab it and the damn thing got STUCK.  Literally.  The darn tooth refuses to let go.  The adult tooth is almost in.  It's in front of the baby tooth.  The baby tooth is stubborn.  And it's stuck.  And I'm not happy.  Not one little bit.

We have worked so hard at the dentist.  We have spent years.  Yes YEARS, mastering the cleanings with our ever so patient and wonderful Jenny the hygienist.  The dentist, Dr Hartman is a young guy, and so very very patient with Daniel.  This spring we got our first complete set of X-rays!  They all celebrated.  He hasn't been able to do the bite ones, so we tried the full head x ray. You stand at a huge machine bite down on a guard and the machine actually circles your whole head.  We have the X ray in his room.  They printed it out for him.  They are wonderful and know just how to handle him.  He calmly does cleanings after years of practice.  He gets no sedation.  Never has.  We chose to take the long slow road, so that someday he could just walk in and do it.  We accomplished it and I'm very proud of that.  I think it empowers him that he can do it without any help.  He let's people put instruments in his mouth and scrape!  That can't be easy!  But he trusts them.  They have earned that trust.  But now. This tooth.  GAH!!!

During the last triumphant exam they said if the tooth wasn't out by July 4th, to call and set up the extraction.  Well, I waited until August 2, but who's counting.  The thing will not let go. I thought I should get it done before school starts.  I called on Monday and they said "you can come in at 4:00 today" and I panicked!!  "I'm not ready TODAY!!!" So it is tomorrow at 2:00 pm.  What am I scared of?  I'll tell you.  This one thing could undo years of work.  He might not want to go there again.  It might panic him and take him years to get back to this place we've worked so hard to get to.  They cannot put him under there.  I think it's because he is a minor and they are not pediatric dentists, I'm not sure.  But I don't know if I'd opt for that anyway.  In my opinion he might see that as much of a breach of trust as just getting it done.  So today I am preparing.  And I'm literally giving myself a migraine with worry. I can feel that tingling starting on the right side of my head like it does. 

I just hung up with the phone from a conversation with someone at the Dentist office.  As I was asking questions about what the plan is so I could prep Daniel, she said, "I totally understand, more than you know".  Apparently she has a son who is now in his 20's who has autism.  What a relief.  I know the others would understand but she understood every word.  So the plan is:

1.  He will have the tooth pulled in "Jenny's room" where he normally gets his teeth cleaned.   This is not procedure.  That would normally happen in the "Doctor's room".  It is too keep him in familiar territory (or should he be in a different room so he doesn't associate it with Jenny's room?) 

2.  Jenny (super hygienist) will be there.  Because he trusts her and she always seems to know what he can handle and what he can't.  She always says the right thing.  (Or should we get a "mean hygienist" so he doesn't relate any of this to her?)

3.  They can use nitrous oxide to relax him (or will he feel claustrophobic with that on?)

4.  They will put on a topical numbing whatever you call it (or will the taste and smell make him crazy?)

This is all me arguing with myself.  Trying to decide what is right for Daniel.  I argue and argue with myself.  This is what I do.  Until I finally have to just DECIDE.  There is no way to know what is correct, I just have to go with my gut based on past experiences. 

Talking to the office I said do not even think about a shot.  Don't even mention the WORD.  He is not scared of anything more in this world than a shot.  That will totally undo him FOREVER.  They said "good to know".  So if it can't be done with the above we'll have to go somewhere else where he can be put under. 

I then called his pediatrician to ask for a prescription for a Valium.  "A" as in just one.  He has done this before, but I never used it.  Unfortunately,  our pediatrician is on vacation this week so it has to be ran past another doctor.  I called the nurses line and laid out the scenario.  We have lots of friends who are doctors, so I hear about people trying to talk doctors into prescriptions for things, so the whole time I was trying to convey that I just wanted ONE to get us through this appointment.  I almost said two so I could get through it too, but I thought the humor might have been lost on the nurse and then I wouldn't get anything!    It's too bad our pediatrician is gone because he would do it in a second he seems to realize I'm not (too) crazy and trusts me.  We have built up a great relationship even though he doesn't always agree with some of my decisions.  But he does appreciate that I listen and have an intelligent conversation with him before I tell him no :)  But basically he knows I'm doing my best. 

So that's where I am.  Waiting for the pediatrician to call me back.  Preparing myself mentally.  I'm going to write a social story so Daniel knows what to expect.  I'm not in Charlevoix anymore.  Where my biggest decisions seem to be which beach to go to or what to have for dinner.  I'm here debating with myself about what will make this as successful as possible.  I'm back to life. Back to reality. . . Just so you have that stuck in your head too, here is the link.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLHMAFfXYNY&feature=related