Monday, May 14, 2012

Happy Mother's Day

 Happy Mothers Day!  Being a mom is one of the most special things in the world.  When Daniel was born a month early there were many complications and we spent the first 3 to 4 of his life separated from him by glass.  He was hooked up to so many machines and drips but when we would sit by him everything would regulate, his breathing, his heart rate, his oxygen levels.  Despite the glass between us he could hear our voices and we could put our hands through to touch his little body but he was protected from us due to his very vulnerable system. The power of parenthood was shown immediately for us.  The fact that your mere presence can have that effect on a baby is mind boggling.   The first time I was able to hold him and we were alone, I made a promise to him. I whispered in his ear that I would always be there for him.  That I would protect him no matter what.  That I would stand up for him and fight for him, as he was fighting in those first precious days.  I didn't know then what was in our future.  I didn't know how much of my life would be spent fighting for him and being his voice and his advocate.  But I think there is was a little part of me, now that I look back, that felt like the fight wasn't just in those first days at the hospital.  I feel like part of me knew it was always going to be more difficult with Daniel.  And it is.  But it isn't.  The rewards are grand.  The love is exponential.  I love both of my kids with all of my heart.  It is just different because they are different.  Zachary is the kindest soul and I love and appreciate everything about him. I can't believe some days how lucky I am that Zachary is my child.   My heart fills with pride and love for him, as it does for Daniel, but it is different.  Not more or less. 

Yesterday we didn't go to any fancy brunches.  That isn't really something we can do.  It was quiet around here with just our family of four.  My mother in law was with my husband's family enjoying their day.  I always spend a portion of my day, missing my mom and remembering the last mothers day we spent together, just days before she died at the too young age of 45, the age I will be this September.  I can't believe it has been 19 years since that day changed my life forever.  Because of these things I feel like I really appreciate how precious motherhood is.  It is the greatest gift in the world.  Yesterday I was surprised with a card from Daniel that he made at school, with his Link (a general ed peer).  It was a huge surpise for me because usually he doesn't keep a surprise.  He'll tell you he has a gift or a surpise because he can't keep it in.  He is bursting with excitement.  But this time he quietly told Todd that he had a something for me and he kept it quiet until Mothers Day when he gave it to me.  Here it is. I just had to share. It is just about the best present ever.  The flowers on front are cut out and glued on.

This is the inside of the card. It is a picture of me, of course.  In case you are wondering those are flowers on my shirt..... :) I wasn't sure at first... There is a tree, a star, a smiley face and a watering can for my flowers.

This page says, if you can't read it, "Dear mom, You are kind.  I can give you three loving kisses on cheeks and nose (this is a quote from a book.  Gotta love that echoalia)  I can thank you for making toast and bacon for breakfast in the morning.  And do you know what?  I love you!!"
The pictures are three pieces of toast and three pieces of bacon.  Precisely what he eats every morning.  An icecream cone, because who doesn't love that?!.   I think it is about the best card I've ever received.  I hope you all had a mother's day filled with love too.

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