A New Semester

Yesterday was the beginning of spring semester swim. Daniel started swimming with the MSU Department of Kinesiology when he was six years old. For more information about this program, click here. He is twelve now. I can't believe it's been that long. It's one of those things that becomes a part of your routine and it's just always there.

He loves swimming. LOVES swimming. He learned to swim independently in this class about the 3rd or 4th semester into it. It is set up like a lab for a Kinesiology class. You need to have some sort of disability to be enrolled. It can be physical or otherwise. You get a college student all to yourself. As with any time you are dealing with, ya know, people. That can be a good or a bad thing. If you get a student who is scared out of their mind to be in a pool once a week with a child with a disability, or worse yet, just doesn't want to be there. It might not work out. If you get a student who cannot, cannot stop talking continuously and doesn't know when to back off it may not go well. Or you can get the match made in heaven and have a blissful semester. You never know. But one thing is for sure. Either way both parties, Daniel and his MSU student, will learn a lot.

Each semester I get a bit nervous about who we will "get". Each time we fill out an information sheet to give the new coach "need to know" information. My biggest need to know is always. DON'T TALK TOO MUCH. Stay on point. The language overwhelms him and he'll get frustrated not understanding you. He appears to understand and doesn't always. For people who chit chat all the time, this can be hard. And since the switch to girls being his coaches, this has been more of a challenge. Please don't complain to me that that is sexist. I have done my own personal study over six years and girls talk more. It's a fact. And since he has learned to independently navigate the locker room, he has been getting girls assigned to him.

The MSU students are supposed to call you ahead of time and ask questions and introduce themselves. This is something that the girls excel at compared to the guys. Most guys have completely ignored this part of the procedure. They seem to have some sort of aversion to the phone. Maybe college guys just don't call people?! That would explain a lot. But I digress. Our "girl" this semester is Nikki. She called on Tuesday to say hi. Sweet girl. Really sweet. But as soon as she said "hi". I cringed. She has a really high squeaky voice. Voices can really get under Daniel's skin. We chatted. She seemed good. She's a senior, graduating in May. Kinesiology major. It's all good. She asked if she should call Daniel directly. We've been working on phone skills, so I said ok, call back at 5:00. Which she did. Put another mark in the positive column under "does what she says she'll do". I also wanted to see if Daniel would go right through the ceiling talking to her. He did not. That was good. But I was still worried.

I had thought about it, for a few days, then on Thursday, which is Daniel's swim day, I said to my husband. "I'm really worried about this, I hope her voice doesn't irritate him". Then something I thought I'd never say, "I really hope she's a cute girl, then it won't matter." Which sounds awful right? But truth be told, he is in puberty. Last semester his coach was perfectly "nice" (and you know what that means when you're described as nice), but one day she couldn't swim and a different girl took over who was gorgeous. I've never seen him so excited! It was way too funny. It took me by surprise at the time. But on hour in the pool with a gorgeous college student, he thought he'd struck gold!

Thursday came, we went to swimming. When we walked in the professor had her list, saw Daniel and called out for Nikki. She stepped forward and said "hi Daniel nice to meet you!" Daniel YELLED out very enthusiastically, "Hi Nikki I'm so excited to swim with you!" Yup, she's a cutie. Thank goodness!

He spent the hour singing, playing, doing laps, by the end, he was touching her arm and giggling. Hmmm. Looks like we need to have some conversations this semester?

Taking Care of Myself

This is the title of my new favorite book by Mary Wrobel. I just received it a few weeks ago via UPS. I found it on the internet at several different sites, but I bought it through A1 books for the plain and simple reason that it was less expensive. I think I paid $16 including shipping. If you have a child on the autism spectrum I suggest you buy it! If you have a child with special needs who likes things in social story format, buy it. This is a wonderful book. I found it because I was surfing the web looking for something that would help explain to Daniel, on his level, about puberty. He is 12 now and we are going down that road. I've been dreading this road. I have heard stories! I regularly read blogs of other parents of autistic boys who are older than us. I am trying to go into this with my eyes open. Why is it that as soon as you are really rolling along well, something has to change? It's maddening! But this book is wonderful for boys or girls. There is a much larger section on puberty for girls that I skimmed through and I have to say if you have a girl, I'm so so sorry! I would not want to deal with menstruation in a girl with special needs. NOT EASY.

I have brought his book with me to several professionals that we deal with and HAVE dealt with for years! Some for 8 years. Let me say that again, 8 years. And each one has said. "Oh that is a fantastic book!" Hmmmm, why do they do this? I know that it is hard to remember to tell everyone everything, but I am a book reader. I LOVE information. The more the better, you can't be over prepared, you get it! Why do they not share this stuff with us?? I have to spend a few hours searching the internet with all sorts of different phrases in Google, trying to find what I'm looking for. The time. That's what gets to me. Because I would have loved this book 8 years ago. It is not just about puberty. . .

Unit 1 is Hygiene. Examples of topics, Washing hands, bathing, washing hair, GETTING A HAIR CUT, blowing my nose, going to the bathroom, and more. Do you know how many hours I have spent writing my own social stories on these issues? How many hours I've spent calling people and asking about it? And here it is, written out in easy to use and understand language all together in one place.

Unit 2 is about Health. Examples of topics, Eating Fruits and Vegetables, SLEEPING AT NIGHT, Going to the Doctor, Going to the Dentist, feeling sick (and the importance of admitting this and not saying "I'm fine" as Daniel does, since in his head it is not OK to be sick)

Unit 3 is Modesty. Enough said?

Unit 4 Growth and Development. Shaving my face, wearing deodorant. Our bodies are growing and developing etc. Daniel started reading this, with such ferocity. He LOVES social stories. It explains the world to him which he finds confusing. (Again, why has no one told me about this when everyone knows this? It's a mystery. ) He was very annoyed that he had to grow into an adult. He read it and then said, with disgust in his voice, "do I have to grow from a kid into an adult?" He wasn't happy. But it helped him. Of course I have told him these things but it needs to be written for him. He loves to read. He has ALWAYS been able to read. I remember when he was 3 and he'd read billboards to me!

Unit 5 Menstruation enough said

Unit 6 Touching and Personal Safety. Touching other people, where people can touch you etc. Very important stuff!

Unit 7 Masturbation. Lord help me.

And an additional story on using a urinal in public. My husband thought this was a good one. I never thought about it actually. Why would I. I DON'T USE A URINAL. Nor have I ever. Nor will I ever. Why would I think about teaching him this? Has anyone else? (By anyone I mean Todd) I don't know.

I brought this book to someone last night to show her (a professional). She said it is her favorite book and hers is tattered and worn (that's not exactly what she said, but that's the phrase Daniel likes to use when something is old. It's Oscar from Sesame street's song. "I Love Trash") When I mentioned that I wished that I had had this book 8 years ago she said, "I'm glad you said that, it will remind me to tell others about it". Thank you! Please tell me. Whatever else you are keeping from me. Please tell me. I need all the help that I can get!!! So I am telling you. Go get this book if it sounds like something that would be helpful! Hope this, well, helps!