Independence

Zachary's basketball camp has been going really well for him and his buddies this week. They are having a blast. Apparently they are the youngest kids there and Carlton Valentine (former MSU player and current high school coach in Lansing) calls them "the four nines". It has been a blessing to have them doing something so fun, with their friends, while actually learning something.

Daniel woke up yesterday very excited because he knew we were going to be meeting the boys at McDonalds for lunch then going BOWLING. That kid loves to bowl! You would have thought McDonald's was giving away hundred dollar bills judging by the amount of people having lunch. I heard they are one of the few places not suffering from recession. I believe it!

We headed off to the bowling alley. We tried the first game without bumpers and really, everyone was a bit disturbed. I thought Daniel did a great job dealing with the gutter balls. He hates when anyone gets gutter balls! None of the boys were very happy with the "failure" of the gutters, so on game two we put the bumpers up. This really cut down on the frustration for everyone. The screen for the scoring kept getting fuzzy. He felt like the woman on the lane next to him was using his ball. (she wasn't she had one just like the one he was using) All of these things were taken in stride (pretty much) and we successfully had 3 games of bowling.

Today was my turn to drive everyone to bball camp and we were all moving a bit slower today. I was giving Daniel the breakdown of the day and he looked at me and said "I can stay here". Daniel craves independence. We work really hard to give him some. At the end of each school day while I go to the park (4 houses away)to meet Zachary's school bus, he comes into the house, gets his snack, empties his backpack and goes on the computer. If it's a nice day I could be at the park for an hour talking and watching the kids play. He does fine on his own. My question is this. When do you start giving your kids the independence of staying home on their own? There was a moment this morning when I paused and thought, "why not?" 99.9% of the time he'd be fine. I'd only be gone for 30 minutes. Instead I rushed him through his morning routine. We were waiting at the door while Daniel was making his bed. He can't leave without doing everything in his routine. It's that .1% that gets me. If an alarm went off, a fire stared (I know, I know all highly unlikely) what would he do? He wouldn't call me. He doesn't use the phone like that. This is something I would have to make sure he could do, call a cell phone and/or 911. I wouldn't want him to call 911 inappropriately, but this is something he should know how to do anyway.

When, if ever, have you let your kids (with autism or not but tell me either way) stay home for short periods on their own? I know it's different for kids on the spectrum, depending where they fall on that spectrum. Is it acceptable to do this? Why or Why not? What suggestions do you have for things he should know first. I'd love to hear from you.

Day 1

We made it through Day one. Not without a fair amount of whining from Zachary, but we made it. During the afternoon we went to SBS (The Student Bookstore) in downtown EL. We thought we'd go get some Final Four t-shirts (yahoo! Go GREEN) for the game on Saturday. On the way downtown Zachary (who's NINE) said, "Mom, I'd like to go to Saper Galleries sometime again soon". Yes, it is an art gallery here in East Lansing. Zachary is my little artist and his work varies widely. I must say, he is pretty good. I know I'm the mom, but really.


We went to SBS first, which is literally across the street from the gallery. How easy is that? SBS was HOPPIN'. Wow they were restocking those final four racks as fast as it was flying off. Recession? Not in EL today! I overheard college students calling their parents and asking if they could use their credit cards! Really. It was awesome and the excitement in the air was palpable. Daniel was distressed because there was a TV on with basketball on it. You know what that means. Fear of the Belle Tire guy. I have to hand it to him though. He stayed in there. He didn't cover his ears and run out. He held it together. He was mad, don't get me wrong. But he hung in there. We bought our t shirts and face tattoos, paid and headed to the gallery.


I KNOW some of you are thinking "I could never bring my autistic child into an art gallery." Well, I'm here to say, at one point, I couldn't have either. But now, he loves it. We walked through the door and Daniel said, "It's QUIET in here. . . . too quiet" (Monsters Inc quote he said) then looked at me and said, "we have to be quiet in here." When I saw the hand blown beautiful vases set out around the gallery, the only thing I did was take Daniel's coat from him so he wouldn't keep swinging it around. I stuck by him and Zachary mostly wandered on his own. He was really taking everything in. Daniel and I looked at Raku pottery, oil paintings as well as the Dr Seuss exhibit that is there right now. One oil painting Daniel particularly liked and he looked at me and said,"can I touch it?" I said that really wasn't a good idea. And he didn't.



We had a wonderful afternoon looking and talking about the different art. Zachary was explaining on the way home that he wanted to recreate some of Seuss's sketches and bring them back to the gallery for a comparison. I thought it was a great idea.



So internet. I'm here to tell you, things change. Our kids mature. It is possible they won't always be a flurry of destruction. While Daniel doesn't seem to be able to create art he has an appreciation for it. When you are that visual, color and texture mean a lot to you. He knew how to behave in this situation without any talking about it ahead of time. We weren't even planning on going there! We changed the schedule, enjoyed the gallery, the entire gallery and had conversations about it. If you would have told me that 6 years ago I would have NEVER believed it. For those of you at age 5 or 6 or even younger. Keep doing what your doing, one foot in front of the other. You never know where those feet can and will take you.

Spring Break

Today is the first day of spring break. It's 10:00 am and Daniel's on the computer, Zach's watching Scooby Doo and I'm blogging. Sounds about right. I really haven't put much thought or preparation into what we are going to be doing for the next 10 days. The one thing I did was sign Zachary up for a basketball camp next week. It is every day in the morning something like 9 to 12. He has two friends doing it too. That will be good for him. But Daniel. What to do with Daniel?


Over the last weeks, knowing that spring break is coming, Daniel asked a series of questions. The first being, "We're going to Florida." Which is his way of asking if we are going to Florida. Despite my searching the web every other day trying to find flights that my head deemed "reasonable" we never booked anything. We can stay at my Aunt's lovely house in Sarasota, 8 minutes from the most lovely beach I've ever seen, with a pool in the back yard, but I couldn't bring myself to fork over the money for the plane fare. If you are asking why we didn't drive you have OBVIOUSLY never been with our family in a car. Honestly the worst one is probably ME. I hate riding in the car. Daniel completely balks at long rides and the first question he asks when getting into the car is "how long is this going to take" even when it is going to the grocery store. 24 hours probably wouldn't go over well as an answer.


On a side note, it is now 10:20 and my nine year old is moping around asking what ever will we do? I suggest calling a friend in our neighborhood and he replies "sigh, sigh, it's too early" Good GRIEF! Said 9 year old has already eaten a bagel, sausage, soy yogurt and is now making toast because he is STARVING. On a school day he'd have stopped at the sausage and been happily working on MATH! He's been up for an hour and a half. argh.


After Daniel was told repeatedly that Florida was NOT on the agenda for spring break, he shifted gears and started saying, "on spring break we are going to Avalanche Bay." Again, not true, but wishful thinking. We did do this LAST year and had a wonderful time. After numerous shots at this power of suggestion tactic. He switched to "on spring break we are going to Meijer Gardens". Talk about low expectations! It really is a nice place to go to. Well, actually I've never been there, but my children have been many many times. Apparently Daniel, who enjoys outings, (as long as they aren't too far) is looking for something to do. We aren't even half way through day one and I have sighs, questions and complaints. It's raining. Of course it is. I remember being one of the few kids home one spring break as a kid. It inevitably snowed, it was depressing thinking of everyone in Florida. For some reason everyone from Michigan goes to Florida. I guarantee you that half the cars headed south on I 75 have Michigan on their license plates. I get it. I guess it's up to me as the mom to try to come up with some fun educational, cheap experiences in a cold, wet city. Doesn't sound too promising. Maybe the motivation of having the blogosphere judging me will help my creativity. . .