All I Want for Christmas....

'Tis the season! At our house, as Thanksgiving approaches, it seems to be the signal for the children to sit down at our kitchen table, pull out a piece of paper and a pencil and start making their Christmas list. Zachary worked very diligently on his, the "big" item being a video camera. My artsy creative 9 year old would like his own camera to film and edit his own movies. That is his #1 choice of gift. He spent a considerable amount of time last summer making a movie with his friend Ethan. They had a BLAST and spent days working on it. I thought, what a great way for them to be creative and be independent. The more I think of it, I have this underlying fear that I will be the "victim" of his "movie making" which in the hands of a 9 year old could easily morph into spying. So IF he gets this video camera from Santa, there may have to be some rules to go along with it!

Daniel wandered upstairs and saw Zachary's completed list. Zachary offered to help Daniel (by doing the writing for him or in IEP words be his "scribe") which was greeted with great enthusiasm.

Zachary- "ok Daniel what do you want for Christmas?"


Daniel- "A Vtech Little Smart Alphabet Picture Desk"


Zachary- "What?"


Daniel- "A Vtech Little Smart Alphabet Picture Desk"


The list then continued, Toy Story Mania Wii game, The Peanuts Holiday DVD collection.....you get the idea. But number one is the "V tech Little Smart Alphabet Picture Desk". Then he says, "I really want that, I already know my alphabet (yeah, since his was 1 1/2 years old) but I want that". You see, he has a thing about the alphabet. He loves the order of all of the letters, how they always are said in order, he LOVES letters. He knows this is for little kids, but oh how he wants it. And whenever anyone asks "Daniel, what do you want for Christmas?" he says "A Vtech Little Smart Alphabet Picture Desk, I really want that", in a way that is reminiscent of Ralphie from a Christmas Story saying, I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!

There is an excitement and a joy as he rattles it off, just like Ralphie does. It makes your heart go out to him. He has his mind SET. Although no one can respond, "you'll shoot your eye out kid" as everyone did to poor Ralphie. Most people just say ooooooohhhhhhhhhhh and nod politely.

How did he find this toy you ask? I do not know for sure. As much as I can figure he was googling the alphabet and stumbled across it on the internet. I have asked him many varieties of questions, such as, "did you see this toy at someone's house?" "Have you played with it before?" To which I get the answer, "I want that, I really want it". I guess it doesn't really matter HOW he found it. He did find it, and he really wants it. This much is clear. And here it is...in all it's glory!
The only place I have found it, however, is in online auctions. So here I am again. Having flashbacks to when he wanted a "Little Pinocchio carved out of wood with strings and joints" and me searching on the web endlessly trying to find this "toy" that is not a toy, until I finally found one on ebay, beat them down in an auction and took it home. I was willing to pay an astronomical amount of money for that damn Pinocchio, I mean, it is practically a one of a kind, literally carved out of wood, but I believe I got it for like $35.00. Or how about last year when he wanted MAN SIZED BUNNY SLIPPERS, and I FOUND them? It seems that every year there is one interesting item on his list that he has stuck in his head and it becomes my mission to find it.

I bid on 4 different auctions for the "V tech little Smart Alphabet picture desk" and lost them all. Granted, I wasn't willing to pay a very high price for it, so I kept getting beat out in the last second. Unlike Pinocchio there seem to be millions of them on Ebay. Why? I do not know. Is there some reason everyone is rushing to put the Vtech Little Smart Alphabet Picture desk onto online auctions? Is it so annoying that they want it out of their house at any cost? Do people not just give crap like that to Goodwill? Why go through the bother of selling something for $4.99? Which by the way is what I purchased this coveted gift for, $4.99 plus $6.95 shipping and handling. I have a feeling that the $50 Wii games, train tracks, $59.99 robot that will also be under the tree, will be second fiddle to the $4.99 used, "Vtech little smart alphabet picture desk". But I'll have made him very happy because I have again found the random item that he asked for and Daniel RARELY asks for anything. Let's face it, at least he won't shoot his eye out, and maybe, Zachary can film him playing with it!

Visual Memory

A few posts ago I replayed the story of Daniel's "Secret Ability" of reciting a poem backwards. I have told many others this story including a few speech paths that I know. I was pleased (for some strange reason) to hear the amazement in their response and after a lot of spouting of reasons for this, they all come back to the same thing. "We don't know anything about the brain." (In that we know some, but there is so much that we don't know.)

I have always found Daniel's brain fascinating. Maybe it's because I love puzzles and am obsessed with them. I play Scrabble, Word Twist, and Scramble, obsessively on Facebook. I'll pick up any Suduku I see laying around, as well as a cross word. I like figuring things out. Maybe, besides the fact that Daniel is, ya know, my flesh and blood, that is one of the reasons I'm always trying to "figure him out". Will I ever? Probably not completely. Whenever you figure something out with him he throws out something new for you to wrestle around with for a while.



For that reason I've been watching the visual memory thing closer since the backwards poem moment. Here are some findings. First the cable guy was here yesterday (wait that has been every day for 3 days in a row and approximately the 1 millionth time since September, it is officially my part time job, waiting for the cable guy) Anyway, when he was "fixing" the internet everything got moved around. Upon Daniel's getting home from school, he unpacks his backpack and spreads it all over the family room floor (just to make me nuts) makes his snack, get's his water, goes to the basement and goes online. He ran upstairs and said, "mom, the internet explorer icon is GONE!"

"Gone?"I said.

"yes, it's missing", replies Daniel.



First, this is amazing communication. Eight months ago he would have just started screaming in the basement, followed by me running down to see if someone was stabbing him with a butcher knife from the sound of his panic! So I was proud of his calm observation. I was panicked inside thinking what did the cable guy do now? When I looked at the screen I pointed it out, "see Daniel, it's over here". "Oh thank you mom!!" he says happily. This also shows his rigidness that he couldn't just look over the screen and find it. It wasn't where it was supposed to be for goodness sake!!! So I stood there for a minute to see what he would do. He moved the internet explorer icon back to where it should be, then he proceeded to move every other icon on the page back where they should be. All 49 of them. I counted. Seven rows of seven, and if my 3rd grade math is serving me well, that's an array demonstrating 49. Does he use all these icons? Um no. I don't even know what 75% of them are for, but he knew where each one belonged! Interesting.

The other "memory" example that came up relates to Zachary built a fort in our basement with his friend this weekend. He invited Daniel in on Sunday night. I sort of made a big deal about Zachary being kind enough to share this wonderful fort. Daniel thought this was awesome. The funny thing is Zachary would usually kill to have Daniel interact with him. This realization just seems to be dawning on Daniel. He is communicating much more. So they spent about 40 minutes in the fort. It was stocked with flashlights, pillows and books. One of the books was "I Spy Christmas" They were reading through this book and finding things. I was smiling to myself thinking that Daniel knows where EVERYTHING in that book is. This gave me a flashback. Danie was 3, we were driving to preschool. He was upset, crying (ok screaming) ya know, the usual ride to preschool in those days. I'm hugely pregnant. Nightmare. I'm trying to calm him. I said, "let's sing a song". He said, "no, I Spy Christmas", and started reciting the riddles. I looked in the rear view mirror and he was not only reciting the riddles but pointing into the air at where the things were on "the page". There was no page in front of him because THERE WAS NO BOOK IN FRONT OF HIM. But he could obviously see the book like it was. So he was pointing to where they were on it. This freaked me out at the time, because well, he was 3 and at the time he hadn't yet been labeled as autistic.



My final example is of Christmas. Everyone has, of course, been asking Daniel what he got for Christmas. He would sort of sit there unsure of what to say and then say "bunny slippers". Which he did get by the way. As shown here. But he couldn't come up with anything else. This

was sort of bothering me because he got AWESOME things, an electric train set, a Wii, as I mentioned, it goes on and on. I'll guess we had 15 to 20 things on the list. So before school yesterday I sat down with him and we wrote it all down. I sent it to school to share with his para and his circle of friends group with the social worker. It was a cheat sheet so to speak, so he wouldn't sit there in group and say he only got bunny slippers! Last night he had another social group with a speech pathologist. So I realized on the way, I should have brought another list. So I just said. "Daniel when you talk about Christmas, what will you say?" Then he said, "I got an electric train set, a Wii. . . .. etc etc. The list we wrote out that morning. IN ORDER. Weird. I mean we know it is "helpful for him to have visual strategies". But this seems a little beyond that don't ya think?


So what do you think? Photographic memory? Have you ever read Temple Grandins book, "Thinking in Pictures??". I have, and I've seen her speak at conferences, twice. What are your thoughts internet? (ok I stole that line from another blog I read, dooce.com, but I've giving credit) Let me know. I'd love to figure it out.

What's the price?

I interrupt this band series for an announcement of something that I never thought would happen. Today I did something I swore I'd never do. I went to Walmart. For those of you who don't realize this. I despise Walmart, so please excuse me while I go on a rant. . . Until today I have never set foot in a Walmart. How can I not like it if I've never tried it? Since it's not food, it's easy. It's a business and plain and simple, I don't like their practices. I have read a lot about Walmart. Probably more than is actually considered sane. I think that they sort of signify some problems we have here in America. We want something for nothing. We value a good deal for ourselves, without thinking of consequences. We want to buy a house when we don't even have a job. Not only that but a new house with granite counter tops and a pool. Then if we can't pay for it, we'll just walk away and let someone else figure it all out.

In the arena of wanting something for nothing. Walmart claims they are, "Always saving you money", "low prices everyday". But I ask, at what price? What does this really cost us? Their products are cheap. Cheap in that lawnmowers are made to last 2 years. Then what? We toss them into a landfill and go buy another one? Clothes. . . don't even get me started. Where are they are made? Not here in the USA. It's shipping jobs overseas. Who makes them? How are these people being treated? How old are they? The questions go on and on. They bully vendors. If they aren't selling at Walmart can they be successful? They expanded their businesses by moving into small towns and left in their wake closed down mom and pop stores with for sale signs in the window. They lower prices in these new areas to put the stores out of business then slowly raise them back up. OK make me stop!

So why did you go there you ask? What caused this trip into the evil empire? Well. I'm shopping for a family who attends one of my children's school. It's a family who is considered "needy" and is getting help from our school community. It is one of my favorite things to do during the holidays. It is one of the few things that make it feel like a holiday of giving. I donate money and usually shop for one or two kids. This should help my case with my 8 year old who asked me last week, "why don't you give to charities?" Answer, "we do but we don't necessarily consult with you"! This year I have two kids that I'm shopping for. One of them asked for a particular kind of Lego set. I can't find one. After going to every store I could think of, I realized Walmart was the only one I hadn't been to yet. I thought they might have one. So I swallowed my pride and went in. I figured this kid's happiness was worth more than my ideals regarding a store, just this once. It ends up they didn't have what I was looking for. I'm afraid NO ONE has what I'm looking for. This kid asked for two things that aren't necessities such as socks and clothing. Two things. I can't find either one. One was a book. How awesome is that? And the book's release date has been backed up to January. I mean come on??? The other the Lego set. Where is the justice?

But back to Walmart. It was BUSY. Apparently not everyone shares my ideals? Obviously, or it wouldn't be such a giant. I know there are lots of people who share my feelings. But standing in the middle of the store it didn't feel like it. I did, however, get a huge amount of satisfaction finding out that the Lego set we bought for my 8 year old was there and it was $12 more than Target's sale price this week. $3 more than Target's regular price. Let me repeat that $12 more than Target. Another Lego set that was on sale this week at Meijer for $35.00, was $52.00 at Walmart. For those of you who need help, that is a difference of $17.00. I can't tell you how happy that made me. Apparently, Walmart doesn't always save you money? Those are the only products I looked at today, and that was my finding. I wonder what other "deals" are out there?

So here I am. Feeling stuck. I know I'll figure something out and hopefully it will be a good Christmas for this family. Plus I received the gift of knowing that, in fact, Walmart isn't always the best price. You can shop at other companies, who have much better track records AND save money. Now that's America.

Will the Death Star be the Death of Santa?

A few weeks ago the Santa talk started. We barely got through last year with Zachary. He's in 3rd grade this year. No special needs to speak of, he just asks a lot of questions. Unless it's a disability to ask so many questions your horrible mother eventually tunes you out!? He wants to believe. Last year we watched a lot of Polar Express. On Christmas Eve he drew a picture with a Welcome sign on it and put it in front of the fireplace for Santa. "Santa" dropped one of his sleigh bells on the way into our home. It mysteriously landed on the welcome sign and it was left there for children to find on Christmas morning. He was sold for another year.

Well, it's another year. The questions started. I gave my usual speech about the magic of Christmas and how if you really believe in something, it IS true when you believe it and feel it. One day about 2 weeks ago Zachary came marching into the family room with a look of determination. I knew I was in for it. Zachary flat out says, "Mom, is there really a Santa Claus?" No beating around the bush this time. He wanted answers!

I say, "What do you think?" (they hate this answer, it is my go to answer when I HAVE NO answer)

Zach, "Every single kid in my class says that YOU are Santa".

Me, "why in the world would every kid in your class think that I'M Santa? They all think I'm Santa?"

Zach, "MOM!!!! You know what I mean".

This went on. He got annoyed with me and dropped it. I was hoping it was over. But I should have known better. He's a thinker, and he was planning his next course of action. Then a few days later he comes up to me with a list. Zach says sweetly, "mom, here is my list for Santa, the Lego Death Star is $300, but Santa won't mind, HE doesn't have to pay for it, he just makes it, well, his elves make it for him." Seriously? I have been outwitted, yet again, by an 8 year old! Albeit an 8 year old who is too smart for his own good. An 8 year old who is seriously testing me and my Santa theory. Here is his list, at least he said please and thank you?!

The Lego Death Star is not going to show up under our tree this year, unless a really fat guy in a red suit squeezes his butt down our chimney for real. We already purchased his most coveted gift, an I Pod nano, which I bought at the Apple web site in Oct., reconditioned. But it looks brand new in it's lovely Apple box. It's not red, though, and on his list he put red. Red wasn't available and I bought it before he specified this. So the list has been used against me. He is testing me to see how far I'll go. Would it be worth $300 to see what happens? I think not. Would he be successful in using his emotional pressure? Yes. Will we fold to it? I think not. Is Santa going to be gone? For Zachary, I think so.

Zach will no longer here the bell ringing like in Polar Express. He's going to have to keep the magic alive for Daniel's sake. Daniel won't understand the magic we create for our children. I know 6th graders have told him there is no Santa. When he was mad at me once, he yelled, "you are NOT Santa Clause". I envision him happily chatting away about Santa at school and some kid saying, "Daniel, your parents are Santa" with a cavalier attitude. Not understanding the confusion this would cause him. He is so literal he probably would think that means dad dons a red suit and flies around the world while he's asleep. I think he needs to get some more clarity before we go there with him. Daniel has a "Spy gadget vending machine" on his list? I had to tell him that didn't exist, it was part of a video game, so he couldn't get that under the tree. "It's not real?" he says in his sweet, innocent voice? "No Daniel, it isn't." He seemed to understand, although he was disappointed. It's not so bad to live in a world that you truly think a spy gadget vending machine could show up in your house. But for now, we'll keep the magic of Santa alive the best that we can, for everyone.