Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Thinking Ahead

Things have mellowed out around here. The boys spent two days at the Grandparents swimming, literally until they dropped. We brought them home and they both slept until 11 the next day. Fantastic.

The weather has now changed drastically with an almost 30 degree temperature drop. It went from sizzling hot and humid to grey, cold, and wet. Not ever a good thing in any one's book. Especially Daniel.

We are on the last week of Zachary's baseball season, much to Daniel's JOY. He is so done with this. I don't blame him. But I end up missing the social time of talking to the parents and cheering on our kids on a summer evening.

I've had some contact with people through email and school is still running through my mind. This is unusual for me on the last day of June. We have a lot of changes coming this year which always makes me anxious. My mind turns to Daniel's academics. Usually this thought process doesn't start until the temperatures start dropping (but I guess they actually DID), maybe that is what is bringing me to fall. I was thinking of Daniel's IEP. The majority of Daniel's work is modified now which means he isn't doing the same work as his peers, except in math where we are barely holding on. We have some good things lined up for this year, but this will be a critical year in terms of academics. The principal at the new school, very abruptly, asked in our IEP "what track is this child on" with academics. That still is sitting very poorly with me. I hate hate hate, when they try to track our kids. They start it before they are even in kindergarten. I always push to have him as challenged as possible. All parents want to know what their children are capable of. I've had parents of neuro typical kids ask me if I think Daniel will get married, live away from home etc. Depending on my annoyance at the time, I have been known to say that they don't REALLY know if their child will have those things either. Lots of people don't get married or live in their parents house WAY too long. At least Daniel has an excuse! I know that where ever Daniel ends up I want one thing for him. I want him to be happy and I will never underestimate him.

I will keep trying to balance between pushing him to achieve without over stressing him. To get him to want more, without making him too uncomfortable or out of his box. Cale from Spectrum Siblings wrote a great post about his brother Carl today. Click here. Carl reminds me a lot of Daniel. However I suspect he might have been more successful in school than him. Nevertheless, he is an inspiration to me for what is possible for a classically autistic child. I think the Asperger kids have a hard time as kids, but once they are adults they can kind of find their own groove and make their way in the world. I hope the same for both of my kids.


Me said...

I once told a principal I didn't care if Brenden ever learned another thing academically as long as he was happy, which he was miserable at that time. I pray every year we have a teacher who "gets" him and not just his academics, test scores and stuff.

Tanya @ TeenAutism said...

You're so right - it is very hard to find the balance between pushing them to achieve without overstressing them. I'll need to be very careful about that with Nigel starting high school.

mama edge said...

I've been leaning more toward the attitude "Me" described in her comment. The academic track has become more and more out of reach to my son Rocky with each year of high school. He didn't earn any credit last semester (regular or special-ed credit) because he just couldn't function in an academic setting. Maybe if I'd been more willing to consider the alternate track for him the year wouldn't have been wasted.

I don't know. I just wonder if my dreams and fear of setting the bar too low have kept me from making realistic decisions. Do you ever feel that way?

Anonymous said...

There is always that fine line of setting realistic goals and challenging them to achieve more.

Thank you for referencing the post about Carl. It was truly inspiring!